Episode 126: How to Let Go of Control Without Anxiety

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Control is a funny thing and one I see many women clinging to when life feels chaotic, or ironically enough, when life is out of control. When things feel out of control in your life the response is often to cling tighter to controlling everything. To maneuver it in a way that lessens anxiety. The funny thing is though, the more you try to control it the more the anxiety will increase. On the other hand, when you learn to let go of control things can turn out so much better than you could imagine. Take the following story for example.

I recently ran across a resource on the gospel library app called Young Adult Weekly. It contains stories from young adults talking about current issues they are facing. I found a story that really ties into what we are going to discuss today and leads us right into the HOW of it all. The story is called Learning to Let Go of Perfectionism by Mazie Cryer in the January 2023 YA Weekly. She relates an experience she had while indoor rock climbing.

“Fear filled my body as I glanced down at the hard, gray floor. I was probably only 10 feet off the ground, but it seemed much higher. Gripping the handholds tighter, I tried to find a way to keep climbing up the man-made rock wall. My perfectionism kicked in and told me I needed to get to the top. But after enough time dangling halfway up the wall, I was convinced there was no way to keep going—and I started to panic. I glanced down at Olivia, my best friend, belaying me from the floor below.

 Olivia looked at me, noticed my anxiety, and instructed, “Let go.”

“What?” My fingers clung even tighter to the handholds.

 “Fall,” she said. “Just let go.”

Terrified, I released my grip. Instead of plummeting to the ground as I’d anticipated, I stopped after dropping only a foot. Hanging in the air, I looked down to see Olivia smiling up at me. She was harnessed into the same rope I was; she kept me anchored. After taking a rest, I was able to continue climbing. Eventually I reached the top, exulting in the feeling of accomplishment."

I love that story for a few reasons that are actually clear lessons for your own life. Here are three of those lessons, that when related to your life, will guide you on HOW you can let go of control without all the anxiety.

In her story the first thing that helped Mazie let go of control was her friend. The trust in that relationship she must have had to let go of what she thought was keeping her safe. She trusted in that relationship and let go. She realized that her friend was actually tethered to her and was anchoring her to keep her safe. Also, she didn’t even fall that far due to the anchor her friend had placed for her. 

How can this be likened to your relationship with God? Well you too are anchored to Christ for help. Actually the scriptures call this yoking. You are yoked to the Savior with your specific circumstances because he has already experienced them. He knows exactly what you are going through and knows how to sustain you through the troubling times. The key is building a strong relationship with the Savior so you trust Him enough to let go and let Him help you in the way He knows is best for you. Without that relationship of trust and faith in him, you will not let go of what you “think is keeping you safe” and will continue to feel the anxiety of not being able to control what you want to.

The second lesson from that story can show you about letting go of control is learning to receive information for your specific circumstances, or in other words. revelation. In the story, Mazie was holding so tightly to those hand holds and focusing on what she thought needed to happen (getting to the top) that she wasn’t able to recognize that the best way to achieve that was to let go and rest. Her focus on HOW she thought it needed to happen was what kept her from receiving the revelation to get her same agenda met in a more effective way. 

A lot of times,I see women thinking that giving up control also mean giving up on the goal. I am here to tell you that God is very much interested in helping you achieve what you want and desire but you need to learn to receive the specific personal revelation on HOW God sees is best to get there. Mazie still achieved her goal, she was just able to rely on her friend, receive a break, and press forward because she recognized there was another way to get there. 

President Nelson is frequently impressing upon us to do the spiritual work necessary to receive personal revelation. I can also tell you that my anxiety has significantly decreased over the years as I have learned to receive personal revelation. I know that He will provide what I need in any circumstance if I am willing to listen. I would encourage you to do the same by doing the work necessary to receive personal revelation. 

The final lesson we can take from this is that learning to manage your own thoughts and emotions can help you see clearly and rely on the resources in front of you. In the story, the panic and thoughts of perfectionism kept Mazie from recognizing she was tethered to safety and had a different way of achieving her goal. The same thing can happen to you.

When anxiety increases in your mind and body, your ability to connect with your functioning abilities decreases. Your ability to connect with and hear the still small voice decreases along with your ability to connect with others and receive their help. The truth is that the natural man inside every person can cause you to become disconnected from your divine nature, God and others. Learning the mental health skills necessary to put that natural man to sleep inside of you can help you manage your own thoughts and emotions and reconnect with God, your divine self and others. 

Truly, learning to let go of control and decrease anxiety as you do the work that needs to be done in building your relationship with God, increasing your ability to receive personal revelation, and learning to manage your thoughts and emotions so you can connect with others. 

Those goals right there have been my life's work with Niki Olsen Coaching. I have developed 3 specific programs that actually help you achieve those goals. In fact, I have those courses currently open and available to you but I plan to close them as I rework some things in my business. I plan to change how people will have access to the information and courses I teach in 2024. In order to make that change, I need to close down all of my programs so I can make things more accessible. Next time I open these courses up, they won’t be available for lifetime purchase. You will only have the option of access as you pay for the content.  

However, for the next week until November 6th, I am offering you one last chance to own these 3 programs for a lifetime and have access to them at any time you need. The first program you can secure lifetime access to is the Spiritual Survival Course where you learn to build a relationship with God, Hear Him more in your life, and develop consistent spiritual habits. I normally offer this course for $150 and I am doing a closing sale of $75.

The second course you can secure lifetime access to and learn to receive revelation for your specific circumstances is the Clarity in the Chaos Course. I normally sell this course for $150 and I am giving you lifetime access to this course for $75. In this course you Learn to feel PEACE in the UNPEACEFUL in less than 20 minutes a day without clearing your mind of all thoughts. You learn a variety of 20 different REVELATION MEDITATIONS to connect to a power beyond your own that facilitates: 

 ► Clarity in your thoughts to stop getting distracted and be guided in what’s most important so you can feel at peace with the things that  didn’t get checked off your list

► Receiving the Still small voice to be a vessel for the Savior and have confidence that you’re receiving exact answer to help in every situation

► Yoking to the Savior’s enabling power to increase your mental and physical stamina so you can get more done than you can do on your own

Then finally the last course will help you learn to manage your own thoughts and emotions and it is called The Connection Course. In the Connection Course you learn mental health skills through a spiritual lens so you can put the natural man and reconnect to your divine self, God and others. This course is available for $99. 

Now at this point you might be thinking, you could use all of those. Which one do I recommend you get? Since I knew that would be the case I actually bundled all three of them with an even bigger discount. I am calling this the Anxiety Buster Bundle. You get the Spiritual Survival Course, the Clarity in the Chaos Course and the Connection Course all for $199 and you get to keep them for a lifetime. So you can dabble a little in each or you can take one course at a time. You get a lifetime to utilize them so you don’t have to have all the time in the world right now to do it. In fact, consider this an early Christmas present to yourself and start them in January when you have time to focus on yourself. 

Keep in mind, these courses at this price and this lifetime availability will never happen again. So don't wait. Sign up today and starting letting go so you can live without the anxiety of not having control

 Please feel free to CONTACT ME if you have question or concerns.